A Way Too Late Review: Wasteland 2 Director's Cut

How do I possibly rate this game?

I've played it for countless hours, and I would say that most of those hours were fun, and maybe a little addictive. So in terms of value and providing positive gameplay feedback loop, it's a success.

And it does so many things right! So many things I want! The writing is consistently competent, despite the punny character names, and the areas and the scenarios they present are generally compelling. I really love that there are no truly good or bad choices in most situations.

It's an isometric tactical RPG THAT ISN'T fantasy! Be still my heart!

And it's huge! Too huge for my taste; I'd have preferred something about half as long, but everything feels full and fleshed out, so I can't complain about that.

But there is a LOT to complain about.

Let's start off with my biggest gripe: it is impossible to play this game well without reading a guide. This permeates every bit of the game, from character creation (make one character good at charisma and leadership, but DON'T make it your social character, and for God's sake, don't EVER give another character leadership. Also, always dump luck and almost always dump strength, and you might could have a competent character) through individual scenes (oh, you want the good ending for this area where people make up and mutually coexist? Well, go ahead an reload that game from four hours of fighting ago, and disarm that bomb. Oh, you thought you couldn't do that during the cut scene?) to the bullshit pixel hunts required to find the ONE CORRECT PATH through (to me) critical quests.

And then there's the inverse bell curve of difficulty. The beginning of the game is hard, in a way I don't mind. The middle of the game is really easy, to the point where combat is a chore. Then the last third ramps things ALL THE WAY UP, and the best weapons all feel like peashooters, because the same enemies from before now have 5x the HP.

I like the moral ambiguity, but I hate that the decision points, or the impact of those decisions, are neither clear nor logical.

Sure, I'll recommend it. It's fun, if you're not averse to doing some googling for your games. But as someone who's played through Fallout 2 10+ times, I'll never return to Wasteland 2. I hope Wasteland 3 is a more focused and less opaque game.

Confessions of a Reluctant Necromancer (A Tale of New World Magischola's Yule Retreat)

by Marcus Vipsanius Forsythe

It started out so innocently. All I ever wanted was a secret drug cult.

Everyone at Magischola has a secret society, though, and I didn't want to be part of someone else's plebeian secret society. I am a Forsythe, after all, and my friends and I deserve nothing less than the most elite secret society in all the magimundi: the venerable Imperial institution of the Infinite Gaze.

I used my name and my social connections to obtain contact information for the Imperial branch, and with the help of my resourceful mixed-blood assistant, Renee Pompadou, I composed an "electronic mail" to announce my intention to form a Magischola branch. I waited the requisite 4-6 weeks for a reply, and was elated (though not at all surprised) to receive a "starter kit" from the main branch, containing everything I needed to start mu own chapter: a lovely flesh-bound booklet pre-inscribed with the blood oath not to interfere with one another; the design and implements required to create the mystical binding tattoo; a recipe for the fabled Dionysian elixir, a drink with all the positive effects of alcohol and none of the negatives, and an assortment of magical drugs with the most fantastic effects. My excitement was palpable.

While I sampled the ample drugs, I remembered that most of the better secret societies have more than one member. Fortunately, as I am universally beloved, the first few weren't hard to find. Naturally, Renee signed up immediately, as she is compelled by contract to do, and the blood oath ensured that she could not inform Mother or Father of my "grossly irresponsible behavior." And my dear artificier friend from primaschola, Celeste Costa, was able to decipher the schematics for the Dionysian elixir still. We got our tattoos, and we were officially a mystery cult!

A few weeks before the retreat, I received word from the Imperial branch that they were going to send over some representatives to observe our proceedings. Naturally, I wanted to impress them, so I worked to swell our ranks, sending out cunningly disguised invitations to the best and brightest students at magischola. The invitations were SO cunningly disguised that most people didn't actually decipher them, but our resident vampire Dylan Oehler, the ever-enthusiastic Capricia Ostrander, and the immensely powerful Mey Suddath showed up on the big day to sign their names to the blood oath and get neat eye tattoos; the Imperial Observers and Laveau House President Xander Stone were already marked. Then we broke out the elixirs and the drugs, and everything went better than I could have imagined. At least I think so. I indulged in some euphoria-inducing pills, as well as some pills that increase your magical power at the cost of your cognitive power, so I didn't follow everything, but Dylan asked some her dead wife questions through the veil, and I guess we got roped into a bit of light necromancy. When the topic was broached, I remember thinking that the Imperial observer was pretty, so I should probably do what she said. When she suggested that we revive the merman ghost we'd encountered earlier in the evening (as one does), I remember thinking that he was also quite pretty, so I should probably do what she said. It's all kind of a blur, but I remember giving enthusiastic consent. And then the school was attacked by wendigo, which I also enthusiastically consented to. It was a weird night.

Anyway, we had a plan, and I certainly wasn't about to back out of it. The following day, Capricia, Dylan, and I asked the friendly mermaid Gem for the mermaid scale required for the ritual, which she willingly surrendered when we (more or less truthfully) explained that we'd use it for a ritual to increase the flagging population of her stirpe.

Everything was coming together flawlessly. Sure, I had some worries. What if a fight erupted over who would take the resurrected merman to the ball? And how did necromancy work, anyway? I asked around and learned that a small piece of body could be used as an anchor, so I dug up a hand at the ancient burial ground (as one does). I also enlisted the help of alleged necromancer Professor Ziegler. I thought we were pretty well set.

But then I took part in a ritual my brother invited me to. He wanted to dig up dirt on our grandfather, the Archjustice, but we summoned a malicious and secretive creature who said that Mey and I knew about its origins.

I was perplexed. I eventually concluded that we had released a malicious energy in our ritual the prior night, so we'd have to finish the ritual AND rebuff the Imperial observers. I went to tell my compatriots that we had made a horrible mistake, but they must have been using some pretty powerful mind magic, because each of them already knew this even without the benefit of being at the ritual.

We came up with a cunning plan: we'd summon whatever malevolent creature was floating around, and then contain it in one of Celeste's ingenious devices that functioned like the boxes featured in the hit mundane film Ghostpunchers. Unfortunately, we proved that the blood oath not to harm one another was binding; Celeste did her level best to perform the incredibly unpleasant task of attempting to strike me, but much to her relief, she was restrained by magical forces. That was when we knew we needed outside help.

I tried to protect my brother from the whole thing, but when I explained the problem, Atherton was willing to back us up with both offensive spells and defensive charms. We also reached out to renowned dueler and all-around stand-up guy Bob Washburn. Grace-Ellen Lee, while originally somewhat confrontational, came around once we explained the situation, as did the Suddath sisters. We thought we were well-prepared if anything went down.

When Xander showed up, he was immediately suspicious, but we were the recipients of the greater surprise when the Imperial observers brought a confused Gem to the ritual and explained that we needed to split her soul to summon the spirit. I panicked, and as I was unable to communicate about the change in plans, Dylan reluctantly split Gem's soul, and I proceeded with the ritual. The whole thing was a blur; we summoned a the Merman Malakai, who flopped around on the floor, and my brother confronted Xander while Bob disabled the Imperials. Dylan returned the soul fragment to Gem, who willingly gave it to Malakai, and I fetched him water and apologized for my actions. Celeste, overcoming her mortal fear of mermaids, tended to them borh. The Imperials revealed themselves to be vampires, and Capricia wavered between loyalty to us and loyalty to them, but eventually settled on the side of decency. Marshals broke in, and I thought we were doomed, but after the explanation, we were let off with a warning and the dedicated Gorecasters were led off, taunting us that the blood bond only bound us to one another, and only I could undo it. Grace-Ellen helped me reverse engineer the oath; with my own blood, I helped to unmake the mark.

Professor Ziegler chided me for my flippant attitude toward necromancy, and I had to ask my friends to forgive me and remain in a super-cool non-necromantic version of the club.

They all agreed to stay on as part of the newly created Circle of Friends. It's slightly less secret, but even more elite without blood magic compelling our friendship. Gem and Malakai are inseparable, and have begun the critical work of repopulating their stirpe. And I'm pretty sure I still have enough drugs left to make it theough the semester. Sure, I inadvertently broke two out of three laws of magic, endangering myself, my friends, and my family, but all's well that ends well, right?